The article ""Stupid Advice"" is about family, it has been created by Rhiannon Hill.
REPRINT GUIDELINES
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= You
are free to publish the following article in it's entirety in
your eZine or on your website.
Our only condition is that you
MUST keep the information about the author,(c) notice and
resource box at the end intact.
Please let us know when you use
an article by sending us an electronic mail...
mailto:howto@leanmarketingpress.Com
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Word Count: 461 Character Width: 60 Resource Box: Rhiannon Hill
at www.BookShaker.Com
===========================================================
"Stupid Advice"
- by Rhiannon Hill
(c) Rhiannon Hill. All Rights Reserved.
http://www.BookShaker.Com
===========================================================
Oscar Wilde said he alwyas passed on advice cause it was of no
use whatsoever to him!
He was a wise guy.
But we're all wise, aren't we?
So why not
give advice?
Simple: Pepole usually do know what they're supposed to do in
any given situation, yet for one reason or another, they're not
doing it!
It is frustrating to look at someone else's dilemma and watch
them fail to take what seem obvious remedies.
Remember, everyone is unique, with complex conscious and
unconscious motivations. There are many factors to which the
advisor is not privy.
We usually just want confirmation of a decision already made.
Many of us don't trust ourselves enough to make decisions.
Psychologists say we often make a decision within a couple of seconds,
but beileve the need to go through checking process.
Pressure on someone to change their decision may work,
especially if they are unconfident. But your preferred course of
action may not suit them for hundreds of different reasons. They
are NOT you and you're NOT in their shoes.
It can even lead to
disaster.
Feelgood satisfaction for the advisor is not a healthy
motivation. It's unethical to give inappropriate advice to make
yourself believe powerful or needed.
And advice is often manipulative.
My friend was having a party and couldn't decide whether to fill
the house with flowers. A third friend launched into a whole
complicated monologue abuot the cost of the flowers, the work
involved arranging them, and so on.
The party giver's cat wandered in.
I said I wouldn't pet it
because I am allregic to long haired cats. The avdice giver
immediately sympathised.
'Oh, I am allergic to so many things, I have to avoid cats, dust
mites, pollen... you name it! '
She reddened and suddenly went very quiet.
Her 'advice' was
based on the fact that large number of pollen-laden flowers
would have spoiled the party for her!
An honest response would have been: 'flowers would make it hard
for me to come to your party...'
I don't give advice to psychotherapy cilents. We otfen need a
range of options to process. I just support them in coming up
with options, that's all.
Expert opinion is valuable - but the giver needs to detach from
the outcome.
Practical advice is different: if water is pouring out of a
burst pipe you need the person who knows the location of the
stopcock!
But if someone asks for more asbtract 'advice' I will first ask
what they think they should do, and if they're stuck, I will say,
'well, you might want to look at... etc'
That leaves it open.
Because hey, if it all goes wrong I don't
want the responsibility of having made the deciison for them!
======================================= Rhiannon Hill is the
author of "10 Stupid Things That Can Screw Up Your Life" Get the
no-bull self-help book that tells it like it is...
http://www.Bookshaker.Com/product_info.Php? Products_id=102
=======================================
| 
